My process is that when I find something I like or that speaks to me I save it. Like the old days of clipping newspaper articles, I’ll typically email the content to myself, then clear through my articles/podcasts and then edit down the nuggets. Life and been crazy and these past few months have gone by so quick, I haven’t had a chance to edit down and post individual pieces of wisdom.
To clear out one of my to-do lists, these are the best of the stuff I’ve learned from in these past few months;
The Good Life – Seth Godin – HERE
We read the book Linchpin with our leadership team. He writes about (https://www.sethgodin.com/) the post-industrial revolution, the way ideas spread, marketing, quitting, leadership and most of all, changing everything. You might be familiar with his books Linchpin, Tribes, The Dip and Purple Cow. His latest book is This Is Marketing (https://amzn.to/2JzNkMD)
Second City Works presents “Getting to Yes, And” Pastor MaryAnn McKibben – HERE
The more I listen to this Second City Works podcast series the more I want to take Improv classes! As I listen, Improv is all about supporting your cast mates. The Yes, And theory is that moment (after much practice) when you can perform with a team and constantly be feeding your team mates with positivity and the setting them up for success.
Kelly has a powerful conversation with pastor MaryAnn McKibben Dana whose new book explores how she has incorporated her improvisational training into her spiritual life and pastoral work.
HERE is a list of all their episodes – Poke around and find some you like.
Finding Mastery; Conversations With Michael Gervais – Dr. Brene Brown – HERE
This podcast format is Gervais does long form interviews with people at the top of their game in multiple fields. His format is amazing, he’s prepared and his graciousness with his guests get them to open up and become very comfortable. He’s vulnerable which in turn opens up the guest to be the same. Having done radio for 7 years, I can really appreciate the art of the interview. Gervais has it.
- Brené’s TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 35 million views.
- The relationship between vulnerability and courage is a focal point of our conversation.
- In Brené’s words: “You cannot get to courage without walking right through vulnerability.”
- So what is courage all about and when is it the right time to be vulnerable?
- Whether it be with a loved one or in the corporate world, do you have the courage to say or do the difficult things?
- And if you’re a leader, do you have the courage to create a culture that actually allows for people to fall on their face and get back up?
- Brené has an amazing way of putting her researching into action with simple and applied strategies so I can’t wait for you to learn from her.
The Good Life – Mitch Albom – HERE
I read and LOVED Tuesday’s with Morrie. My daughter just discovered it 21 years after I did. Our discussion was amazing. What I love about getting to know Mitch’s back story is his unending GRIT! How does a kid obsessed with making it in the music end up becoming an internationally renowned, best-selling author, journalist, screenwriter, playwright, radio and television broadcaster and…and yes, musician? That’s what we explore in today’s wide-ranging conversation with Mitch Albom(https://www.mitchalbom.com/).
21 lessons for how to get the most out of life, from a guy who retired at 50
Marketwatch -Jonathan Look HERE
I was going to detail the ones I like but there are too many. This has so many of the Stoic philosophies that I try to live by, which is probably why I’m sharing it.
I can’t stop the news cycle, but maybe I can change the way I process it. Would the ancient teachings of Stoicism help?
The Roman Stoics believed that unhappiness was caused by trying to control events that we have little say over. The only thing we can control is our thinking. By practising Stoicism, we cultivate an attitude of “calm indifference to external states”. Virtues such as rationality and courage are prized.
Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that preaches fortitude and self control. It was developed in the third-century BC and has had a revival in recent times with a range of books, online communities and YouTube channels.
Things are only bad if we think they are bad
Achieving your goals will not make you happy
Stoicism similar to Buddhism
As philosopher and author Nassim Taleb once wrote on the similarities between the two: “A stoic is a Buddhist with attitude.“Those details begin with how both systems seek to reduce suffering by helping us to better understand the world and how we interact with it.“For the Stoic, all happiness is internal.”
Difficult people have been around forever
“Say to yourself first thing in the morning: today I shall meet people who are meddling, ungrateful, aggressive, treacherous, malicious, unsociable. They are subject to these faults because of their ignorance to what is good and what is bad.”But Stoicism teaches us that all human beings are our relatives – we are like “two sets of teeth in the same jaw” – and when we meet hostility from others we should greet it with tolerance and affectionate care for them.
Finding Mastery; Conversations With Michael Gervais – Producer Marty Callner – HERE
I am Marty Callner! As I listened to Marty’s story, the things that resonated with me were; the desire to create, the attention to detail, the pre-work and research is key, dream big, don’t chase money – chase a lifetime body of work. I particularly love how he found the accolades unimportant and superficial. The pay off is great work that moves people. Give a listen if you want to know what makes me tick.
For Marty it all started with his learning to “dream big.”
His mom taught him that, “A man who doesn’t build castles in the air doesn’t build them anywhere.”
How cool is that thought?
Marty is a risk taker, an innovator, and to this day he’s looking for ways to reinvent himself.
The Psychology Podcast – Scott Barry Kaufman – Robert Green – HERE
I stumbled on 48 Laws and loved it. I liked the narcissist discussions in this interview. The Psychology Podcast has so many great thinkers on human nature, development, and interactions between people. DIG IN.
Today we have Robert Greene on the podcast. Robert is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 48 Laws of Power, The 33 Strategies of War, The Art of Seduction, and Mastery, and is an internationally renowned expert on power strategies. His latest book is The Laws of Human Nature. In this episode we discuss:
- What is human nature?
- How to transform self-love into empathy
- The deep narcissist vs. the healthy narcissist
Why Every Man Should Study Classical Culture – HERE
November 23, 2015 –November 6, 2018 A Man’s Life |
1. Enhances your cultural literacy.
2. Allows you to take part in the “Great Conversation.”
3. Allows you to see the interconnectedness of ideas.
4. Instills virtue and morality.
5. Increased understanding of your government and founding principles.
6. Disciplines the mind.
The Psychology Podcast – Scott Barry Kaufman – Jonathan Haidt – HERE
I’ve read, blogged and shared a bunch of Jonathan Haidt stuff over the past few years. His analysis of what’s happening in our Universities is really interesting to me. I caught in on an AEI interview and his theory of what happens to children between the ages of 9 and 11 aligns with what I’m seeing in schools at and around 5th grade. HERE is the AEI panel discussion or the embedded video below. We need some free-range kids at critical junctions.
The Psychology Podcast – Scott Barry Kaufman – Can science ever solve the mystery of the existence of God?HERE
Michael Shermer and Philip Goff Michael is the founding publisher of Skeptic magazine, a monthly columnist for Scientific American, and a Presidential Fellow at Chapman University where he teaches Skepticism 101. He is the author of New York Times bestsellers Why People Believe Weird Things, The Believing Brain, and Heavens on Earth: The Scientific Search for the Afterlife, Immortality & Utopia. Goff is an associate professor in philosophy at Central European University in Budapest. His main research focus is trying to explain how the brain produces consciousness. His first book, which was published by Oxford University Press, is called Consciousness and Fundamental Reality. Goff is currently working on a book on consciousness aimed at a general audience.
The Psychology Podcast – Scott Barry Kaufman – Dr. Plomin – How DNA Makes Us Who We Are – HERE
Because I’m in the education field I found this discussion fascinating. Kaufman challenges Plomin on some of the Nature v Nurture research that has been debated for years. The role of early education jumped out at me in this discussion.
The genetic influence on television viewing
How virtually everything is moderately heritable
The effects of extreme trauma on the brain
How the abnormal is normal
The potential for misuse of genetic information to select children for particular educational tracks
Recent research on shared environmental influences on educational achievement
The “nature of nurture”
The role of education on intelligence
How teachers can and cannot make a difference
The genetics of social class mobility
Free will and how we can change our destiny
These Are the 4 Most Important Things I’m Looking for When I Interview Job Candidates
After conducting hundreds of interviews, I’ve learned just how much these things matter. Rapidly scaling your…
Read it on inc.com
1. Mission and values alignment.
The fundamental thing I look for in any candidate, regardless of department or level, is alignment with our company’s mission and values. We’ve taken a lot of time to define exactly what our company has set out to do in the world, and the five traits and qualities that we feel are most important.
Anyone who wants to join our team should demonstrate that those same things matter to them.
To test whether a candidate fits this qualification, think about what living your values and mission would mean for someone in that particular role in your company. Ask questions that get to the heart of how they think about those things and what they’ve done in relation to them in the past.
2. A problem-solving mindset.
In a rapidly scaling business like ours, the challenges we face day-to-day are often new and ambiguous. Most roles require someone who can remain graceful under pressure and think independently.
Another useful skill is the ability to put structure around problems — the ability to take an amorphous issue and think about it in a systematic way.
Situational interview questions, in which a candidate describes how they would handle a hypothetical scenario, are useful in teasing out problem-solving abilities. The person’s conclusion is important, but pay just as much attention to the thought process they used to reach it and how they defined the problem.
3. A clear vision about how they fit in.
Few jobs today require order-taking automatons. For every position, I am looking for candidates who demonstrate leadership qualities and a sense of vision for themselves, their team, and the company. Even if the role doesn’t involve leading an office or a department — today — the team member will likely lead a project or a process at the very least.
You can ask the person about their leadership style and goals, but you’ll also want to pay attention to whether they demonstrate other skills and traits you expect a leader in your organization to have — for example, how they think about mentorship or whether they learn from their mistakes.
You should also evaluate the person’s perspective about the business and its capabilities, an understanding of the broader field, and a view about how to succeed with those factors in mind.
4. Strong communication skills.
This may seem like a basic one, but it’s hard to overemphasize just how important good communication skills are. To be successful in many roles, you need to be able to communicate in the right way with many different types of stakeholders.
Interviews are good opportunities to assess someone’s communication skills. Are they clear about what they are looking for and how that aligns with the role they’ve applied for? Are they honest? Do they avoid giving superficial answers? Do they know who they are and what they want, and clearly and consistently communicate this throughout the interview process?
An interview is an opportunity to determine whether a job candidate is a good fit for an open role — and vice versa. By focusing on these four areas, you can hone in on a few of the things that matter most to the success of both the candidate and your company.
Why we need both science and humanities for a Fourth Industrial Revolution education – HERE
As more computers equal or surpass human cognitive capacities, I see three broad purposes for education:
Most obviously, to instil thequality STEM skills needed to adequately meet the needs of our ever-more-technological society;
Just as importantly, to instil the civic and ethical understanding that will allow human beings to wield these powerful technologies with wisdom, perspective and due regard for the wellbeing of others;
To find much more creative and compelling ways to meet these first two needs across a far wider range of ages and life situations than has traditionally been the case in our education systems.
The Psychology Podcast – Scott Barry Kaufman – Dr. Flynn – HERE
Dr. Flynn is literally the pioneer in intelligence and G Factor. Well worth a listen in particular their discussion on Charles Murry (of Bell Curve) and meritocracy. Flynn sort of debunks the Murry thesis on black-white intelligence. Family plays a major part in intelligence. EXPECTATIONS are the key!
- Flynn’s attempts to clarify intelligence and its causes
- The g factor, and what gives rise to it
- The validity of multiple intelligences theory
- Intergenerational trends (the “Flynn effect”) vs. Within-generation trends
- The “social multiplier” model of intergenerational trends in intelligence
- The multiple causes of black-white differences in IQ
- Charley Murray and the meritocracy thesis
- Transcending the politics of intelligence research
- The dangers of suppressing ideas and research
- The 20% wiggle room of autonomy on IQ tests
- The difference between internal and external environment
- The impact of having a “family handicap” on SAT scores
- Toward a more humane society
The Psychology Podcast – Scott Barry Kaufman – Anxiety and Fear – Dr. Ellen Hendriksen – HERE
Her latest book is called “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.” What is your real self? What is social anxiety? What is the opposite of social anxiety? What’s the goal of therapy to treat social anxiety? How to be comfortable when you are “caught being yourself” The importance of self-compassion The difference between introversion and social anxiety Techniques to overcome social anxiety The Orchid-Dandelion Hypothesis The relationship between the highly sensitive person and openness to experience The importance of going out and living your life first, and letting your confidence catch up The importance of turning attention “inside out” How perfectionism holds us back The importance of “daring to be average” The myth of “hope in a bottle” Gender differences in the manifestation of social anxiety
How To Become An Effective Leader – HERE
1. Know your concrete guideposts.
For others to like you, they must know you. For them to know you, you must know yourself. Every likable CEO has foundational principles for who they are and the person they desire to become. These are concrete guideposts that shape their thinking and their decisions. When you communicate these guideposts, others are attracted to your leadership and your core values.
What are the concrete guideposts that guide your decisions in leadership and life?
2. Be curious about other people.
In How to Win Friends and Influence People, the notable Dale Carnegie stated the importance of being “genuinely interested in other people.” Every CEO should make it a priority to be curious about their team and the people they meet. Any one person has the ability to teach you something. When you are curious about others and seek to learn what they can show you, it often leads them to like you.
How curious are you about others? What’s the one thing you might be interested in learning about any person you meet?
3. Grow yourself and your outlook.
People are attracted to people who focus on their own growth and development. Growing CEOs have a different outlook on life and experiences because they continue to stay fresh and up to date on the newest thinking that is changing the marketplace. People like to learn from these leaders.
What experience has allowed you to grow your outlook in the last six months?
4. Be diligent about acts of thoughtfulness.
Many times, likability is a direct result of thoughtfulness. Though you don’t read about thoughtfulness in many business books, it’s a key element to good business and to developing a likable personality. Thoughtful acts of kindness such as writing notes, acknowledging great work, or offering words of affirmation can go a long way in developing a friendly spirit.
How diligent have you been lately at performing acts of thoughtfulness?
5. See the best in others.
People like to be around people who see their potential. There is an old saying: “When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.”
One complaint that many leaders and CEOs receive from their key staff is that they only focus on the negative or on what needs to be improved. Although it is essential to focus on improvement, it is equally as important to find and elicit the best in others.
Can you name the best ability of every person on your team?
Here is an essential truth that leaders would be wise to embrace: You will never become the best leader you can be until you become a likable one.
I am the CEO of the CXP – CEO Experience. My mission is to provide resources to leaders who desire to learn fast to lead further.
The Psychology Podcast – Scott Barry Kaufman – Organization Theory and Meaning at Work – Dr. Wrzesniewski – HERE
Another interview with a giant in their field. Dr. W has spent a life looking at Organization Behavior and the intersection on work and fullfillmnet. I liked the ongoing reference that Scott makes to Maslow and how deep these two got on his hierarchy of needs. I particulary enjoyed the discussion on faith and spirituality in being fully actualized. Dr. Wrzesniewski is a professor of organizational behavior at the Yale School of Management. Her research focuses on how people make meaning of their work in difficult contexts, such as stigmatized occupations, virtual work, or absence of work, and the experience of work as a job, career, or calling. Her current research involves studying how employees shape their interactions and relationships with others in the workplace to change both their work identity and the meaning of the job. Topics incude: – The definition of meaning – The four main sources of meaning – Spirituality as a potential source of meaning at work – The way work allows us to transcend the self – The definition of calling – How to find your most meaningful calling – The importance of “self-resonance” – The difference between consequences and motives – What is job crafting and how can it help you increase your calling?
Four Habits Of Highly Ineffective Companies – HERE
What are the characteristics of these highly ineffective companies? Here are four of them:
- They fail to adapt to the reality of the changing environment: In other words, leadership is satisfied with the status quo.
- The leaders of these companies are in a state of denial: They are resistant to change. They don’t realize that the competition is out there getting ready to disrupt them. They don’t believe they can be disrupted. This is a very dangerous way for a leader to think.
- They have adopted a “heroic” leadership model – employees are waiting for directives and instruction from above: The focus of this concept is on the employee. Employees are waiting for their leaders to tell them what to do. They won’t act on their own. They are corporately paralyzed. It could be due to fear. It could be due to lack of training. More than anything, they lack empowerment. And who’s to blame? While the spotlight is on the employee, the leadership is at fault for creating a culture in which good people, who are capable of doing good work, aren’t allowed to exercise their creativity and initiative.
- They have an overreliance on hope: There is an old saying, “Hope is not a strategy.” You can’t hope your way into success. When good things happen, it usually isn’t because of hope. It’s because of preparation and planning, which sets a company up to adapt and accept opportunities that come its way. Another old saying, “Luck is preparation meeting opportunity,” is not about hope or luck at all. It’s about positioning and being ready to move when the opportunity presents itself. The company that is relying on hope may be waiting a long time for it come around.
Companies that are highly effective take the opposite approach.
They don’t settle for the status quo: They don’t sit idle. They consistently look to move forward and improve. They know that they must stay relevant to their customers, or they will be disrupted by a competitor.
Leadership knows the customers and the competition: They have a pulse on the marketplace. They listen to their customers and observe their competitors. They make the necessary moves to stay relevant to their customers and push to stay ahead of the competition.
They have an empowering culture: Leadership recognizes that some of the best ideas are going to come from the people who do their jobs day in and day out. They not only listen to their customers (point No. 2 above), but also to their employees, and give them permission to make good decisions for the company.
They are proactive in seeking opportunities: Akande quoted the great philosopher (and comedian) Milton Berle, who once said, “If opportunity doesn’t knock … build a door!” They don’t wait – or hope – for success to come to them. They go after it.
The Psychology Podcast – Scott Barry Kaufman – The Path To Purpose – HERE
I’ve been fascinated with the role of a leader and communicating purpose in an organization. From Maslow to Frankl the desire to for humans to strive for purpose in their life is a powerful motivator. Dr. Damon’s most recent books include The Power of Ideals, Failing Liberty 101, and The Path to Purpose: Helping Our Children Find Their Calling in Life. In this wide-ranging discussion, we cover the following topics: –
- The definition of purpose –
- The role of values in purpose –
- The difference between purpose and meaning –
- Vicktor Frankl’s “will to meaning” –
- How purpose is a late developing capacity –
- The difference between purpose and resiliency –
- The paths to purpose among young people –
- Methods for developing purpose –
- Moral commitment among moral exemplars –
- Purpose among leaders –
- The importance of taking “ultimate responsibility” in life –
- How we are leaving young people unprepared in a civic society
These Are the Skills That Your Kids Will Need for the Future (Hint: It’s Not Coding) – Inc. HERE
The jobs of the future will involve humans collaborating with other humans to design work for machines, and value will shift from cognitive to social skills.
The subjects we learned in school were mostly static. Two plus two always equaled four and Columbus always discovered America in 1492. Interpretations may have differed from place to place and evolved over time, but we were taught that the world was based on certain facts and we were evaluated on the basis on knowing them….
So kids today need to learn less about how things are today and more about the systems future technologies will be based on, such as quantum dynamics, genetics, and the logic of code. One thing economists have consistently found is that it is routine jobs that are most likely to be automated. The best way to prepare for the future is to develop the ability to learn and adapt.
Applying empathy and design skills
While machines are taking over many high-level tasks, such as medical analysis and legal research, there are some things they will never do. For example, a computer will never strike out in a Little League game, have its heart broken, or see its child born. So it is terribly unlikely, if not impossible, that a machine will be able to relate to a human as other humans can.
The ability to communicate complex ideas
Much of the recent emphasis in education has been around STEM subjects (science, technology, engineering, and math) and proficiency in those areas is certainly important for today’s students to understand the world around them. However, many STEM graduates are finding it difficult to find good jobs.
On the other hand, the ability to communicate ideas effectively is becoming a highly prized skill. Consider Amazon. Though it is one of the most innovative and technically proficient organizations on the planet, a key factor to its success its writing culture. The company is so fanatical about the ability to communicate that developing good writing skills are a key factor to building a successful career there.
Collaborating and working in teams
Traditionally, school work has been based on individual accomplishment. You were supposed to study at home, come in prepared, and take your test without help. If you looked at your friend’s paper, it was called cheating and you got in a lot of trouble for it. We were taught to be accountable for achievements on our own merits.
Narcissism Explained: Jungian Theory – HERE
4 Habits of Ultra-Likable Leaders That Are Hard to Find – Inc. HERE
1. Every good leader turns away from arrogance.
Because society places so much value on external accomplishments, appearance, and self-aggrandizement, the virtue of humility is mistakenly viewed as soft or weak–it’s the skinny kid who gets sand kicked on him by the neighborhood bully.
The Washington Post reports that, according to a 2016 College of Charleston survey, 56 percent of 5th and 6th graders believe that “the humble are embarrassed, sad, lonely, or shy.” And when adults are asked to recount an experience of humility, “they often tell a story about a time when they were publicly humiliated.”
That’s the perception of humility. And nothing could be further from the truth.
Groundbreaking research by Bradley Owens and David Hekman, as reported by The Post, concluded that a humble leader doesn’t believe success is inevitable. “He constantly tests his progress. He revises and updates plans, in light of new situations and information. Acknowledging he doesn’t have all the answers, he solicits feedback. He encourages subordinates to take initiative. He prefers to celebrate others’ accomplishments over his own,” states The Post.
2. Every good leader soaks up the wisdom of others.
Smart leaders stretch their knowledge beyond intellectual pursuits. They continually evolve by soaking up the wisdom of others, acknowledging that they don’t know it all. Remember this quote?
If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
You must view yourself as a small fish in the great big pond of life–seeking out connections and appointments from those further down the path than you in order to master new things.
3. Every good leader practices patience.
A leader who practices patience and is slow to anger receives far less attention and acclaim than a charismatic leader with a commanding presence but a short fuse. Yet the former has the clear edge.
In one 2012 study, researchers found that patient people made more progress toward their goals and were more satisfied when they achieved them (particularly if those goals were difficult) compared with less patient people.
4. Every good leader is self-aware.
In a study reported by Harvard Business Review, teams with less self-aware members substantially suffered; they made “worse decisions, engaged in less coordination, and showed less conflict management” as opposed to more self-aware individuals.
Self-awareness is crucial in leadership roles. Self-aware leaders look at the whole picture and both sides of an issue. They tap into their feelings and the feelings of others to choose a different outcome to solving organizational or personal challenges.
Daniel Goleman, the foremost emotional intelligence expert, once said:
If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.
10 unmistakable habits of utterly authentic people – The Ladders – HERE
They help others to be their authentic selves
Authentic people don’t expect others to play a role either. They don’t make people feel as though they have to fit into a certain mold or to project a certain image to be a part of their lives. Their commitment to being authentic gives other people the freedom to live authentically too.
They let go of negative people
Authentic people have too much self-respect to put up with people who treat them badly or have ill will toward them, and they have too much respect for other people to try to change them. So they let go — not out of anger, but out of their need to be true to themselves.
They express their true feelings and opinions, even when they’re not popular
Authentic people don’t live a go-along-to-get-along lifestyle. They’re simply not capable of acting in a way that’s contrary to what their principles dictate, even if there are repercussions. They prefer not to lie to other people, and they especially can’t lie to themselves. This means that they’re willing to live with the repercussions of staying true to themselves.
They are confident
Much social anxiety stems from the fear we have of being “found out.” We’re afraid that somebody is going to discover that we’re not as smart, experienced, or well-connected as we pretend to be. Authentic people don’t have that fear. Their confidence comes from the fact that they have nothing to hide. Who they appear to be is who they really are.
They prefer deep conversations to meaningless chatter
Eleanor Roosevelt nailed this one. She once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” You won’t find authentic people gossiping about others or giving their opinions on the latest celebrity scandals. They know all of that stuff is nothing more than cultural trappings, and they choose to talk about things that matter.
They don’t take anyone’s advice without evaluating it carefully first
It’s not that authentic people aren’t willing to take advice; they are. But they don’t put that advice into action just because other people have. First, they’ll run it through the wringer from a critical perspective so that they can be sure it makes sense for them.
They don’t complain about their problems
Complaining is what you do when you think that the situation you’re in is someone else’s fault or that it’s someone else’s job to fix it. Authentic people, on the other hand, are accountable. They understand that they — and no one else — are responsible for their own lives, so there’s no point in complaining.
They’re internally motivated
Authentic people don’t sit at their desks thinking, “Well, if my boss would just make this job worthwhile, I’d do a better job.” The carrot-and-stick approach just isn’t relevant to them. They’re motivated from within.
They make the best out of any situation
Authentic people have a very firm grasp on reality. When things don’t go their way, they don’t get trapped in denial, and they don’t sit around whining about how things should be different. They simply take stock of the way things are and, if there’s nothing they can do to change the situation, they figure out a way to make the best of it.
They don’t get stressed or upset when someone doesn’t like them
It’s never fun accepting that someone doesn’t like you, but a lot of times that discomfort comes from trying to figure out what you did wrong or how you can fix it. Authentic people don’t have that anxiety because they would never try to change themselves to influence someone else’s opinion. They accept that other people have a right to be authentic about their own feelings, even if those feelings are negative toward them.
Bringing it all together
Living authentically is a perpetual challenge that yields great rewards. It’s a noble path that you won’t regret following.
A Journalist Who Interviewed 585 CEOs Says They All Have These 3 Things in Common
The journalist who has interviewed CEOs for the New York Times for a decade shares his observations. If you’re aiming…
Read it on inc.com
1. Applied curiosity
Are CEOs smart? Sure, but maybe not in the way you expect. Most are bright, though plenty didn’t particularly thrive in an academic environment. Instead of being universally good at book learning, Bryant observed that most if not all were fiercely curious about the world around them.
“They share a habit of mind that is best described as ‘applied curiosity,'” he writes. “They tend to question everything. They want to know how things work, and wonder how they can be made to work better. They’re curious about people and their back stories.”
2. Comfort with discomfort
It’s not exactly breaking news that fighting your way to the top of a company involves plenty of hard work and sacrifice. But some aspiring CEOs fail to understand the full implications of that obvious truth. It’s not simply that you have to be able to take some lumps to get to the top, Bryant insists. To thrive as a leader you have to actually like the challenge and the pain.
“Usually, I really like whatever the problem is. I like to get close to the fire,” banking industry CEO Arkadi Kuhlmann explained in his interview. “Some people have a desire for that, I’ve noticed, and some people don’t. I just naturally gravitate to the fire. So I think that’s a characteristic that you have, that’s in your DNA.”
3. Focus on the present
You might think that most successful CEOs are super ambitious, and in many ways you’d be right, according to Bryant’s interviews, but the high-achieving leaders he spoke with had a very special type of ambition. Yes, they have big goals, but they don’t let those big goals distract them from whatever they’re currently working on.
The top CEOs Bryant spoke to “focus on doing their current job well, and that earns them promotions,” he writes. “That may sound obvious. But many people can seem more concerned about the job they want than the job they’re doing.”“That doesn’t mean keeping ambition in check,” he clarifies. “By all means, have career goals, share them with your bosses, and learn everything you can about how the broader business works. And yes, be savvy about company politics… But focus on building a track record of success, and people will keep betting on you.”
Building a great culture is simple but not easy. Here are 7 leadership behaviors to avoid like the plague.
Sloppy Talent Acquisition PracticesInconsistent Reward MechanismsBehaviors That are ToleratedPlaying FavoritesPulling the “Firing” Trigger to SlowlyIgnoring Your Star PlayersInauthentic Value Systems
How to have a productive conversation with your local alternative facts fan.
First, build trust. You may disagree entirely with your conversational partner, but try to convey to this person that you share his or her bedrock values. Rephrase what this person is saying so that he can see that you understand where he’s coming from. In the case of the CEO who refuses to acknowledge a bad hire, you might convey that you too worry about the cost of recruiting. If your uncle won’t believe in climate change out of economic concerns, start by explaining you are also worried about unemployment.
Now, you’re all set for the real conversational ninja move — you need to show the other party that his beliefs are actually in conflict with his own values and goals, all without making him defensive. It sounds like a tall order, but Tsipurksy insists it is possible. Offering concrete examples of people who have changed their minds can help. So can suggesting that a person’s previous opinion was understandable given the information he or she had at the time.
After Studying the Lives of 724 Men for 79 Years, Harvard Reveals the 1 Biggest Secret to Success and Happiness
Want to improve your success in life and business? The results of this 79-year old study…
Read it on inc.com
Social connections are good for us; loneliness really kills.
While calling loneliness toxic, Waldinger said social connections made people happier and physically healthier. It made them live longer too.
On the other hand, he also said:
“People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. And the sad fact is that at any given time, more than one in five Americans will report that they’re lonely.”
As companies become more distributed, allowing employees to work remotely, it seems important to ensure that teams stay connected. Collaboration tools, such as Slack (and all of its competitors) and Cisco Spark can be essential in minimizing isolation.
The quality of our close relationships matter.
Good relationships protect our brains, not just our bodies.
The study found that being attached to a relationship in your 80s is protective. Such people had sharper memories while people who were in relationships where they couldn’t really count on the other person experienced gradual memory decline.
The Results of Google’s Team Effectiveness Research Will Make You Rethink How You Build Teams
Read it on inc.com
1. Psychological safety
As Google put it, psychological safety is based on a primary question: “Can we take risks on this team without feeling insecure or embarrassed?”
The researchers found it to be the most important factor, by far, that could determine a team’s likelihood of success.
Ultimately, people want to protect themselves from harm and negative judgments made by others. So, if coming forward with an idea or asking for clarification on a goal or task can damage our reputation, we are more likely to keep quiet for the sake of professional self-preservation. Professionals, including entrepreneurs, often fear being wrong, and having an idea shot down with bravado can often bring that fear to the surface.
When it comes down to it, no one likes working with someone who can’t be depended on, and having an unreliable team member is guaranteed to cause problems, regardless if the person is not otherwise toxic.
To be a dependable team, all of its members need to complete their tasks on time and to the expected quality standards. Without that, the entire group will struggle, regardless of whether some are willing to pick up the slack.
3. Structure and clarity
Google also identified another good business basic as being particularly relevant: structure and clarity.
Employees need to clearly understand their role within the team, any current plans, and business goals that affect their work. Without this, workers may have a difficult time identifying who is responsible for what, why certain actions need to be done, and what the broader objectives happen to be. Cumulatively, this leads to uncertainty that can harm the team’s ability to focus on what matters and cover all of its duties.
In a world where cultural fit has become increasingly important, it’s no surprise that those who feel personally connected to the business and their work are more likely to excel. People who are passionate about the company’s mission experience higher levels of job satisfaction, which ultimately improves performance.
Beyond finding the work meaningful, the most talented teams also believe that what they do matters in a real way; that their contributions provide value and support positive change. This makes the day-to-day feel more important, as employees understand how their assigned tasks impact more significant goals in a fundamental way, making even tedious work seem valuable.
By creating teams that possess the five traits above, you are setting them up for success. So, instead of focusing solely on hard skills and education (even if the candidate has a degree from an Ivy league school), examine the personalities of your employees and make sure that they come together in these key areas. That way, they’ll be primed to exceed expectations, innovate, and work like a well-oiled collaboration machine.
Why Leadership Development Programs Don’t Work (And What Does)
Leadership development should be approached like a fitness routine. Companies in the United States spend more than $14 billion each year…
Read it on inc.com
What is a more effective way to develop leaders?
Leadership development should be approached like a fitness routine. If you truly want to get into shape, you must work at it. A few training sessions per year isn’t going to lead to lasting results. Leaders need to commit to ongoing efforts to develop their capacity to lead.
If a leadership development program is going to be effective, it will require a proper assessment of the organization and its leaders to uncover dysfunctional behaviors. The training should be based on what is actually happening in an organization, not on a standard framework or workbook.
Perfectly timed insights will make more sense to the leader, and they can immediately and permanently put them into practice.
Leadership development should also focus on business outcomes. Think of business outcomes you need to achieve, such as hitting your annual revenue goal. What’s getting in your way of achieving the goal? Are there any dysfunctional behaviors that are putting that goal in jeopardy?
Effective leadership development programs will surface these types of issues and equip leaders to deal with any and all dysfunctional behaviors that are putting that outcome at risk.
And here is the really good news. A leadership development program focused on delivering real-time guidance on overcoming actual challenges in your company will help you achieve your desired business outcomes.
Even more, you will have teased out dysfunctional behaviors, and created peak performance leadership, teamwork, and culture along the way. That is the enduring value and will make all the difference.
The Difference Between Leadership and Management
A common question with a simple answer that will help you with each As a professor of leadership and management and author of a bestselling leadership…
Read it on inc.com
Managers deal with behavior and things you can see.
Effective management results in compliance. The person you manage does what you instruct.
Managers’ influence comes from authority. To improve as a manager, improve your ability to give instruction.
Leaders work with emotions and motivations. They are less tangible than behavior, but equally systematic.
Effective leadership results in desire. The person you lead wants to do what you motivate.
Leaders’ influence comes from emotional and social skills. To improve as a leader, develop your social and emotional skills.
Extreme cases help illuminate the difference.
Leadership without management is dreaming. A team with leadership but no management is lucky to get jobs done.
Management without leadership is the DMV–bureaucracy without passion. A team with management without leadership rarely excels, nor do people like working in it.
Both involve motivating and influencing others. But improve with experience. Both are necessary.
Which should you develop?
You don’t personally need both, but a team with complex goals does.
If you lack one and the team needs it, you can find someone whose skills complement yours to do what you lack.
If You Want to Succeed, You Need to Hit Rock Bottom First – Inc. HERE
None of us ask for life’s greatest challenges, but that doesn’t mean we can’t benefit from them.
1) It Could Be Worse
Few things sound more cliche when you reach what feels like rock bottom, but there is incredible power in realizing that whatever it is you’re dealing with you may have had to deal with something much worse. According to Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO and author of Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, about the sudden death of her husband, “it’s very counterintuitive to try to recover from tragedy by thinking about an even worse tragedy, but it’s a very powerful lesson because it gets us to gratitude for what is still good in our lives.”
2) You Are Much More Resilient Than You Thought
When the world seems to have thrown the absolute worst it has at you this is one of the most important things to keep in mind. One thing that we can all be assured of is that the longer we live the more often we will have to reach into that well of resilience. Of course, it’s easy to say that resilience is a choice, but what prevents us from making that choice is most often the fear that doing so somehow minimizes the loss. We need to grieve, it acknowledges the magnitude of a loss. But grief and resilience are not a zero sum proposition. They can coexist if we allow them to.
According to the American Psychological Association resilience isn’t about overcoming grief, instead it’s about adapting “in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.” I define it in even simpler terms. Resilience is the ability to grieve without turning your grief into regret.
3) Don’t Sidestep The Pain
The best piece of advice I ever received about dealing with adversity came from a friend who had seen more than her fair share of adversity. I was going through a difficult period and complaining mostly about how I was unable to overcome the pain of the situation I was in. Not only did I feel as though I’d failed at the situation but I was compounding it by feeling like a failure for not being able to stop the pain. What she told me has stuck with me. Very simply it was, don’t try to run away from the pain. Instead sit in it and ask, “What is this experience and the pain trying to teach me.”
4) Don’t Judge
Nowhere are we quicker to pass judgment than when it comes to judging ourselves. I’ve especially noticed this among entrepreneurs who are ruthless at blaming themselves when something goes horribly wrong. You may very well have made a bad decisions, hired the wrong person, blown the negotiation, dropped the ball, not followed your instincts, and, as if that’s not enough, now you beat yourself bloody as a result. It makes little sense.
If you knew someone who was the single most important person in your life or your company and they made a horrible mistake I doubt that your first response would be to start flogging them for it. There’s always time to ask what you could have done differently, it’s called learning. However, the less you judge yourself the more likely you will be to take the next risk, and the one after that. We don’t stop moving forward because we’ve faltered. We stop moving forward because were afraid. Withhold the judgment, learn the lesson, and, if success is your objective, expect to have to repeat that same cycle many times over again.
5) Keep Reminding Yourself Of What You’ve Learned
Lessons aren’t of much use if we keep repeating our past patterns. Life isn’t an academic test where the simple knowledge of how to solve a problem is enough to get the grade. It’s about putting into practice what you’ve learned. One of the best ways to do that is by writing a long letter to yourself that captures exactly what you were feeling and what you learned from your adversity. When you find yourself falling into a past pattern read that letter again. One of the most amazing things about adversity is how often we forget what it felt like. In some ways that’s a good thing, otherwise we might never take another risk. But when we recognize the patterns that created the problem emerging once again it’s a good idea to remind ourselves of what it felt like and what we learned because of it the last time around.
6) Give Yourself Credit
When you were in grade school you’d likely jump through flaming hoops to get praise and a gold star. Well, learning and growing only gets harder as you get older. And, in case you hadn’t noticed, often there’s nobody around handing out gold stars. Acknowledge your own efforts and resilience. Celebrate the lessons you learned. After all, you earned them.
7) Let It Go
I’m not going to suggest that you forget those times that you hit rock bottom. They are powerful reminders of what you have achieved and invaluable parts of who you are. They have shaped you and strengthened you. That isn’t the “it” you need to let go of. What you need to cast off is the very human desire to go back and make things right, to somehow get a do-over, especially now that you know better. Every moment spent wistfully thinking of that is a moment you do not get to spend applying your hard won lessons to what’s right in front of you.
Or, as J K Rowling, the wildly successful creator of Harry Potter, once said, “Rock bottombecame the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”