Work Life Balance
I grew up on a farm and in a small town in Wisconsin. The life was simple, creative and the work was hard. There is something about working with my back instead of my brain that I miss and that I enjoy. Lately, I’ve been called back to that life. I’m working hard to bring that experience back to my family…whether they like it or not! For those of you that haven’t experienced a life on a farm, HERE‘s a great blog that explains the hard work and amazing rewards of farm life.
Slowly but surely I hope to build a barn, small home and raise cattle in Patagonia, Arizona. The region is called the Sky Islands and it’s rich with birds, wildlife, and ranching. Our property is full of 100+ year oak trees and it’s nestled in a valley surrounded by red rocks.
On being an authentic man…..
I love what I do and who I work with. Balancing work life, family life and fun is a constant challenge. I’ve had a transformation journey that opened my eyes to motivates me and began the journey of discovery as to who I am. During my soul searching, I learned that I’m responsible for how I show up, ultimate accountability, life-long learning, and faith is my path to peace. In order for me to be effective as a father, husband and business leader I have to constantly be working on me. Sadly, many men in society are broken. I believe that is broken and the ability to learn about what makes people tick is a unique part of the human condition. The scars of life are typically imprinted in our family of origin. As ideal as my family was there was still shadows that I had to wrestle with. Once the shadows become visible, the work can begin.
I believe that there are many ways that we can come to terms with our shadow. I also believe men, more so than women, are more in need to learn who their true self really is. Broken men focus on status, money, sex, cars, and power. Many men, I included, spent the first 30 years of my life thinking that these artificial motives meant that I was successful.
Throughout ancient times there are numerous rights of passage from childhood to manhood. These journeys are ceremonial and a part of society evolving leaders. In our day and age, I find broken men that have spent the energy to learn about their motivations fascinating. The men that I respect and am drawn to have gotten in touch with their shadows through, faith (typically born again more so than Catholic), addiction recovery, career military and in particular Marines, divorces where a man loses everything, business loss or any other event that forced the man to shake their beliefs to their very core. Through my work in Mankind Project I did the hard work, continue to dig into who I am and I’ve learned that many men are struggling to know who they are. I’ve invited 8 men to the MKP weekend. All experienced profound awareness. Here’s what I learned from my journey (thanks to Nigel Stapelton for summarizing it so well). I am never done learning these lessons.
- Emotional Authenticity – As a man I need to share how I feel, in a healthy and clean way. Not bottle things up and shove things down deeper.
- Leadership Mastery– I am a leader, a role model and I am enough. I just didn’t realize it, or could not access those parts of me due to the masks, shields, and barriers that I had put up.
- Personal Responsibility– I learned the real value of integrity and accountability and that I am 100% responsible for my feelings and I own the impacts – both positive and negative – of my choices and actions.
1 Intelligence is more than a person’s IQ. Emotional Intelligence has gained momentum recently. I subscribe to the 8 Intelligence described by Harvard’s Howard Gardner. Working on all 8 is a life-long journey. Henry Rollins Letter to Youth.
2. Father Richard Rohr, interviewed by Krista Tippet talks about rowing to and from the shore. A friend of mine gave me a book that explains the concept very well. The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute is worth a read.
3. Surviving the Holocaust and losing your fortune to a Ponzi scheme would be devastating to anyone. Listen to how the author of Night, Elie Wiesel responds to losing his life’s fortune to the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme. Now, this is a man that knows what is important.
Health and Family
Forks over Knives: HERE